Turn the page or close the journal?

Journal. Diary. Grievance notebook. Whatever you call it! Today marks the 6th year of this little thing that I bought after my first audit season in 2006—that was June 19, 2006 to be exact! No, this isn’t my first journal, but yes this is the only journal that hasn’t been filled with whatever nonsense that I could have written within those 6 years! :)

Actually, the purpose of this journal is to document all the GRIEVANCES (work-related) that I feel which I couldn’t tell anyone—I WAS just not that expressive, I’d rather keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. But then as I was browsing through this journal, it made me realize that:
• Most of my entries were about a single person; I’ve been writing about this person for quite a couple of years now. hohoho! Crazy!
• All entries got these feelings of sadness, frustrations, and longing. Oh the senti side of me! pathetic! hahaha! —I don’t usually write when I am happy! :D

And then re-reading these entries brings back all those bittersweet memories! Heart-breaking! Annoying! hahaha! But somehow enlightening! (oh ha!) . I used to cling to this thought: “I won’t stop writing for as long as I am hurt!” Seems like my writing skills thrive in emotions—sad and bursting emotions! Crazy isn’t it?! Hehehe!

This journal has gone through a lot—from having witnessed my experiences on finding an inspiration**holding back and denying a feeling**accepting a fall**trying to break the fall but then falling deeper**realizing it wasn’t a good fall**mending**believing and trusting again**realizing for the nth time that it really wasn’t a good fall after all**mending again**learning**surviving!

That’s why today, I CELEBRATE MY JOURNAL’S SURVIVAL of the many times that I have thought of burning the pages (with bad memories in it!) into ashes! Hahaha! :D

—-

Six long years, but it still got a lot of blank pages. No, I didn’t get tired of writing; I just preferred writing down my thoughts in soft copies—*M-Word files and oh posts in this blogsite! (Perhaps I evolved from being secretive to being obviously expressive! hehehe!)

6 years. A few written pages. Sad journal entries. These make me want to close the journal… BUT NO, I have decided to TURN THE PAGE. The past 6 years might not have ended the way I wanted it to end, but I’m hanging on a hope that the next years would be better. :) ..And that would be worth writing down on this very same journal. :)

I’m ready to fill in the next chapter of this journal—hopefully, I’d be inspired enough to also write down happy memories. :D

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24 thoughts on “Turn the page or close the journal?

          • haha I’m an ex-SGVean :) ..currently with EY Indonesia. Saang cluster ka at anung batch? :)

          • .. ehe.. im from DMZ cluster, MC1 .. I am just a newbie here in SGV.. I am hired since November 2011. Wow, how long have you been in SGV? Would you mind if i get your full name? thanks :))

          • Oh I know your Boss! hehe I was also from MC1–4 years JDC cluster, 2 years AFJ cluster. So 2 months lang pala tau naging officemates kung ganun, i left the firm in January 2012. :) Sim Cabasag here. :) and you are?

          • haha.. ganun na nga..weeww, remarkable 6 years.. ehe..
            Im Vivren Aurestila. Im a guy, dont be confused with my name since it sounds more of a girl ..ehe.. I like your blog anyway. I keep on reading anything bwt it.. hahaha

          • hahaha kala ko babae ka. salamat naman sa pagbabasa ng blog, super delayed ang mga posts ko dito hehe, BUSY eh. naghahabol pako sa mga recent posts. pero walang posts dito bout audit ah haha!

          • hahaha.. dont wori, im not expecting for audit articles here.. hehe.. Na.rerelax lang sa sobrang slack mo. .weeww.. bow ako on how you manage your time.. ahaha..
            Your from Zamo. ct huh.. Im from Zambo sur.. bisaya ka? hmm, ehehe

          • halata bang slack na slack?! haha! di naman mashado, sakto lang. :)
            you’ll be able to effectively manage your time as well, pag nagtagal ka sa “the firm” hehe!
            aba, yep, zambo city ako. and yes, bisaya din ako. :)

  1. Ehemm !! Hi po.. ehe.. just dropping by.. BTW, Im auditing now Sem-Calaca Power Corporation. haha.. Maam Angie once told me that you have been auditing here as well.. wow. .wala lang.. ehe.. Currently, we are here in Calaca having our fieldwork.. Nice Place. Nice People :)

    • Hi. nice to hear from you again… :) yes, sem-calaca was my client before.. mbabait nga sila jan, sa batangaas and sa head office din.. panalo ang pagkain! hehe! :) pls extend my regards sa mga taga accounting (ms mercy, ms cynthia, ms angie, nakalimutan ko na ung names ng iba…and sir tony–pero wala na ata sa acctg si sir tony, focused sa marketing na ata un).. :D

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