Let our scars fall in love.
We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems–the ones that make you truly who you are–that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person–someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way –Andrew Boyd.
Probably I never wanted to be found; because I always assumed that someone has already found me every time I find someone. I forgot that it isn’t to be understood as two way—just because I feel that I found someone doesn’t mean he has found me, too. Oh boy. That’s probably where the mistake was. I always get it wrong, always.
Love—it’s still an idea, I think. It’s still a beautiful idea that I can’t seem to bring to life, that I can’t seem to truly feel. Now I am beginning to realise why I always cry over twists in love stories, why I am easily moved by such kind of movies. It’s because I am unconsciously wishing I have the same love story, no matter how tragic it gets (ends), at least they feel (felt) love. I realise that I don’t have any love story to share… I am afraid I am beginning to realise I haven’t really fell in love for once in my life… 09.Feb.’15
*Written after watching “Love, Rosie” back to back with “The Best of Me”.*
And then I met you a week later I wrote the above note, and then everything seems to slowly fall into perspective. Just like that. Slowly but (hopefully) surely. And yeah well maybe, you are my right kind of wrong. *winks*
**There’s just no way I could say this any better, but Love, please know that I feel very blessed and lucky to have met you, almost 8 months ago. ♥ **